Nonsensical Nuances
by mistress amethyst une
Summary: Complete. A perfect soldier turned boyfriend and bodyguard. A pacifist princess turned politician. A conventional couple? Definitely not. Thirty-one 1xR romance/humor ficlets.
1. Respond, Rewind, Rescind

**Disclaimer: **GW = not mine

**Author's Note: **So I decided to take on the Love Reflection ML Summer Reading Rec Blitz '09. Here's hoping I finish it. I'm going to add an encompassing theme of "subtle but quirky changes" or, as the title says "nonsensical nuances." Prompt 1 is "answer" so let's go!

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Respond, Rewind, Rescind**

Heero Yuy was not the kind of man who put his foot in his mouth. No, he was the kind of man who was prone to swallowing his entire leg without even flinching.

"He had his hand on your-"

"I know where his hand was!" scolded Relena. "Heero, I can handle myself without you whispering thinly veiled death threats in the ears of my dance partners."

"I only told him-"

"That you'd castrate him if he didn't get his hand off my ass?"

"I was only quoting-"

"An excerpt from Michel Foucault's Discipline and Punish?"

"Are you going to finish-"

"All your sentences for you? Why not? Heero, you owe that man an apology."

"No, I don't."

"Oh yes, you do."

"I'm not going to apologize for who I am."

"And who is that? Tell me exactly what you told him that you shouldn't have to apologize for. Tell me why I shouldn't ask you to take it back."

Heero seemed almost sheepish now. Seeing her overflowing with rage had him choking on the figurative foot she'd jammed down his throat.

"Well?"

"I told him to keep his hands off the girl of my dreams if he didn't want me to be his nightmare. Still want me to take it back?"

Dumbstruck, she found herself smiling for the first time that night. "On second thought, why don't you repeat that to that lech in the corner? He's been giving me dirty looks since the party started..."

* * *

First ficlet done. Hope the characterizations are all right.

* * *


	2. Sixteen Seconds

**Disclaimer: **GW = not mine

**Author's Note: **Prompt 2 is "thunder."

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Sixteen Seconds**

He began counting the seconds as another lightning bolt flashed before his eyes.

One...

_She wasn't home yet._

Two...

_It wasn't unusual for her to run a few minutes late._

Three...

_It would take more than a storm to keep her from coming home to him._

Four...

_"You won't even notice I'm gone," she told him, giving him a light peck on the cheek before she left for the summit._

Five...

_"I'll be home before you know it."_

Six...

_He cursed himself for not insisting on being put on her security detail for this meeting._

Seven...

_Her absence left much to be desired._

Eight...

_Who the hell needed time off anyway?_

Nine...

_A job like his was hardly a job._

Ten...

_He simply did what he did best and got paid for it._

Eleven...

_And on top of that, he had the best view of Vice Foreign Minister Darlian's legs in all of earth and space._

Twelve...

_Paid mandatory leave was overrated._

Thirteen...

_"To avoid stress," Une had told him. "Every Preventer has mandatory time off. No exceptions. I can't believe I even have to tell you this. Maxwell's already used all his leave time for the next five years."_

Fourteen...

The doors burst open. She was soaking wet.

Fifteen...

He immediately ran to her side._  
_

Sixteen..._  
_

She was in his arms before the thunder crashed. Forgetting all about calculating the distance of the storm from his location, he held tight onto the only force of nature he truly cared about.

* * *

Second ficlet done. :)

* * *


	3. Professionalism

**Disclaimer: **GW = not mine

**Author's Note: **Prompt 3 is "knees." This cranks the rating up to T.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Professionalism  
**

"You dropped that on purpose, didn't you?" she accused, throwing him a death glare that would give a gorgon a run for its money.

"Perhaps," he smirked. "However, I'm not the one with the obsessive compulsive tendency toward neatness. I'm also not the one in a skirt short enough to qualify as a tool for the world's oldest profession."

Did he just call her a hooker?

"That book looks awfully out of place on the carpet, Relena. It belongs on a shelf."

She scowled. "You know I can't bend over, Heero."

There was that smirk again. "Yes, you can. You'll be putting on quite the show though."

She had to take a deep breath to keep a growl from escaping her lips. "Bet I can get you to pick it up for me."

"Go on."

Walking up to him, she whispered in his ear, things he would let him do with her if only he'd do her this one favor, things she'd normally never even consider doing.

The smug smile on his lips said it all as he retrieved the book and returned it to the shelf.

"You're not allowed to take it back, Relena."

"Of course. I'm a woman of my word, Heero. This weekend. Me on my hands and knees. Us getting down and dirty. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good," he said as his smirk evolved into a maniacal grin. "It's been forever since I've checked on the recording equipment in your office air vents. You're the only person who fits that I can bully into coming with me. I really have to hand it to you for knowing what I want to do."

She laughed. "Is that all?"

"Well, I'd _appreciate_ it if you wore that skirt again. It's a dull job."

It was her turn to smirk. "Not with me it isn't."

* * *

Third ficlet done. :)

* * *


	4. Silent Barrage

**Disclaimer: **GW = not mine

**Author's Note: **Prompt 4 is "golden."

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Silent Barrage**

It seemed Zechs was getting close to his breaking point. His recent return from Mars with Noin was supposed to be a time for celebration, for him to enjoy more casual Preventer work, for his sister to finally give him the chance to dote on her. Instead, he was spending all his time wishing Heero Yuy would evaporate. Whenever his eyes met those of the perfect soldier, he heard various unseemly things. No doubt they were baseless assumptions but everything Heero did said something to him.

For example, as Zechs tried his damnedest to keep his attention on the bowl of oatmeal set before him, Heero suddenly became enraptured by Relena's hair. He could almost hear the former Gundam pilot's thoughts.

_"I'm 100% sure she's a natural blonde, if that's what you're wondering. I've played with more than the hair on her head." _

That smug silence said so much. Heero had most definitely seen his sister in her least modest state, and the boy was rubbing it in Zechs's face without saying a thing. If actions spoke louder than words, Heero was most definitely shouting at the top of his lungs, shouting with those nimble little fingers of his dexterously running through the golden mass on top of Relena's pretty little head. Where else could those fingers have gone without Zechs's knowledge? What else could they possibly have touched? Seeing Relena's lack of reaction to Heero's gesture suggested this was a usual thing. No need to jump the gun. She wasn't reciprocating or enjoying it or anything...

"Just don't react, Zechs," he scolded himself. "Right now, you're Milliardo. Cool, collected, calm, charismatic Milliardo... You're a good brother, and good brothers don't murder their little sister's obnoxious boyfriends."

Heero nuzzled Relena's ear and she giggled. "You know I'm ticklish," she told him off, gently shoving him away to attend to her cereal as a sly smile played upon her lips.

_"I know other places where she's ticklish."_

"If they can avoid it," amended Zechs.

Zechs cringed, balling his hands into fists under the table, as Heero's unending fascination with Relena's hair continued. Couldn't they eat breakfast like normal people? Why was his breakfast this foul oatmeal anyway? Couldn't he have a nice slice of meat? Something that required a knife so he could stab that bastard would make for an excellent meal. He sighed. Maybe he could settle for spooning Heero's eyes out, filling those sockets with oatmeal...

Relena looked befuddled as Heero popped a grape into her mouth.

_"And I've stuck more in her mouth than that..."_

Feeding her? Really now?

"This is uncharacteristically sweet of you," she noted, her tone colored by confusion. "What's the occasion?"

"Oh, nothing," he replied, poison coating every word. "Can't I be affectionate without any ulterior motives?"

She raised an eyebrow. "I suppose."

Heero's ulterior motive glared at her, his fingernails undoubtedly marking his palms from how tightly he'd clenched his hands.

_"I've tapped that."_

Heero's annoying voice practically boomed this statement into Zechs's head when Relena excused herself and rose from the table, her back now turned from her brother and her ass directly in her seated boyfriend's line of vision. As he was accustomed to doing, Heero followed her in the interest of protection and duty.

Right...

It was no secret that Heero was prone to grabbing her from behind when he perceived a threat, his arms encircling her waist, her posterior rubbing against his-

Bad mental image, Zechs. Very bad. And it seemed the ratio of threats Heero perceived increased in proportion to the number of days Zechs stayed on Earth...

Did he really want to be around his sister enough to endure this mental torture?

Well, he always did enjoy a challenge.

"Bring the pain. Zero One, I'm taking you down. I can dish out as much as I can take."

Unclenching his hands, he picked up his spoon and dug into his oatmeal.

* * *

Fourth ficlet done. :) The next prompt is "sadomasochistic" and the ficlet following this one will pick up where this one left off.

* * *


	5. Noise Barrage

**Disclaimer: **GW = not mine

**Author's Note: **Prompt 5 is "sadomasochistic."

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Noise Barrage**

"Actually, Heero enjoys being dominated," declared Relena, taking another vigorous swig of white wine to relieve the stresses of the day.

"Relena, I doubt your brother is interested in _those_ details of our relationship," snapped Heero, trying to pry the wine glass from his girlfriend's grasp. "Someone's had too much chardonnay."

"Stay out of it, Heero," sneered Dorothy.

The heiress was absentmindedly making her half-full crystal goblet sing as her fingers danced circles on the glass's rim. She was bored out of her mind, and sipping alcohol wasn't half as entertaining as watching how fast blood left the perfect soldier's face as opposed to how fast it flowed and reddened Milliardo's look of suppressed rage. Who said formal dinners had to be boring? There they were, seated at the round table of doom, trying to act like decent members of society when they were all anything but. She had suffered the entire meal in silence for her husband's sake but the wine was making her bold.

Heero ignored her, focusing and failing miserably at his mission to part Relena and her wine. He obviously didn't want to spill it on her or break the crystal. Her grip alone might very well have been enough to shatter the goblet. Where was his agility and dexterity? Grabbing something from a tipsy diplomat should have been effortless. By the time he's gotten a hold of the glass, she'd emptied it of its contents. Perhaps he would have had better luck if he wasn't constantly distracted by the damned scooping neckline on her devilish red dress.

"Finally, something to liven this meal up a bit," interjected Dorothy, trying to revive the conversation. "Heaven knows, Quatre's always sober and dull."

Quatre coughed something that sounded a lot like "wasn't what you were moaning last night," before he found his foot unceremoniously crushed beneath his wife's stiletto under the table.

"Miss Relena, do go on," she prodded, effectively masking her husband's yelp. "Nobody else is willing to take a stab at good conversation. Don't we want to end this meal on a happy note?"

"Where was I?" asked Relena, amazingly coherent despite her blood alcohol level. She could definitely hold her liquor. Keeping her mouth shut when wine had thoroughly loosened her lips was another matter entirely...

"Dominance?" chimed Dorothy.

"Oh yes. Dominance. You like it when I put you in your place, don't you, dear?"

Dear? She was definitely out of it. Nobody called Heero Yuy 'dear' and lived.

"Dear?" she repeated.

Except her.

"You love it when I tie you up. Don't you remember?"

Quatre choked on his sparkling cider. Zechs looked about ready to throttle Heero.

"We take turns," she went on nonchalantly. "He gives a good spanking. I give a good whipping. Nothing too kinky..."

Zechs's eyes were about ready to pop out of their sockets. She spoke as if she were discussing matters as inconsequential as the weather. How could Milliardo Peacecraft's little sister be so...crude was an understatement.

Noticing her brother's distress, Relena turned to him, grinning ever so slightly. "Not to worry, Milliardo. It's always my idea. And we have safe words... Heero's never in any danger."

Not knowing what else to do, Zechs rose from the table. Making a graceful exit was better than potentially striking a woman, his own sister at that.

"I think I need to go back to Mars to do some thinking," he choked out. "I'll be spending the rest of my time on Earth in Italy with Lucrezia. Relena, when I come back, and you're sober, we're going to have a serious talk about your- this-"

"Sexual deviance?" offered Dorothy.

"Whatever you call it!"

And with that, Milliardo Peacecraft stormed out.

"Think he bought it?" piped Relena, breaking the silence.

"Hook, line and sinker," grinned Heero. "Your skills for improvisation are..."

"Top-notch?"

"Scary."

"I scare you?" she laughed, enjoying the buzz from both the alcohol and a job well-done. "Maybe you do need to be tied up. He wasn't going to come after you, Heero. Not with me here. Besides, I took full responsibility for our kinks."

"Fictional kinks, I presume?" inquired Quatre.

"Wouldn't say that," smirked Heero.

Dorothy cleared her throat. "Well, while Quatre and I were happy to be willing accomplices, we need our compensation."

"The newly-renovated castle is being prepped for your next gala as we speak," smiled Relena. "Small price to pay for peace. I love Milliardo but he can get suffocating. Besides, Miss Noin misses him."

"To a mission accomplished?" asked Quatre, raising his glass to propose a toast.

Three other glasses immediately clinked against his. "Mission accomplished!"

* * *

Fifth ficlet done. :) I guess Zechs couldn't handle it. xD

* * *


	6. Solitaire

**Disclaimer: **GW = not mine

**Author's Note: **Prompt 6 is "innuendo." Hope everyone understands the meaning behind their conversation. ;) If not, ask and I'm willing to explain.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Solitaire  
**

"Vice Foreign Minister Darlian will see you now," announced the new male secretary, his voice missing the distinct stutter Heero usually inspired in Relena's staff.

"You're new, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir."

"You'll learn."

"Learn wha-"

The office door slammed shut before the bewildered young man could finish his query.

"Are you going to _educate_ my new secretary, Heero?"

She didn't even bother to look up from her computer monitor.

"Just the basics," he replied, walking over to her desk.

"I don't need an assassin for a personal assistant. I certainly don't need to lose another employee thanks to your impromptu training sessions."

He promptly plopped down on the plush seat facing her. There was rarely a point to his daily afternoon visits. He simply felt the need to look in on her whenever the opportunity presented itself. She usually didn't mind. Usually. She had been irritable the past few days.

"What are you doing?" he asked, hoping to change the topic and avoid the inevitable argument about his overzealous observance of safety protocol.

"Playing solitaire," she replied, still refusing to look at him.

He attempted to peer at her screen but she quickly closed the file she was viewing. Judging by the content of the wall of text he'd glimpsed, she wasn't playing with virtual cards.

"What is it, Heero?" she asked, looking utterly flustered as she finally met his eyes.

"That wasn't solitaire. Not the kind I was expecting, anyway..."

"So I like to keep myself entertained in between meetings...what's it to you?"

"All this time?"

"Poker isn't always an option. I hope you understand. Don't worry. You're the only one I play with."

The office was bugged, and they both knew the need for discreet conversation. She had to hand it to him for not immediately freaking out about her reading choices.

He sighed. "As long as you're happy. You're sure you haven't been playing poker with your new secretary?"

She raised an eyebrow. "I don't play poker at work, Heero. Especially not now. Period."

He caught the meaning of her emphasis on that punctuation mark. "I guess we aren't playing when you get home either."

"Not this week," she sighed. "Solitaire's the one thing that's keeping me sane."

"I understand. You wouldn't mind if I found someone else to play poker with then?"

"Heero Yuy, don't you dare!" she glared, hitting him with a folder.

"I was joking."

"You don't joke."

"I'm learning."

"Well, that was cruel. You know I want to play. I just can't..."

"I know."

"I haven't won all day. Also, my head hurts like hell and heels are murder."

He understood her frustration. She wasn't the only one who liked to play solitaire. Being unable to win did not make for a happy player.

Throwing caution to the wind, he kissed her ear. "I'll help you win tonight. How's that sound?"

"How could you possibly-"

"I'll show you how I play."

He could already see the effect his words had on her, how her entire body seemed to tingle, how her face turned bright red...

"Promise?"

"Promise. I'll see you in a few hours. I need to be back on duty in a bit."

"All right," she replied, her voice strangely breathy.

"Hope you can win before then," he smirked before he walked out the door.

"That's a sure bet," she thought to herself, turning to her computer screen to begin another round of solitaire.

* * *

Sixth ficlet done. :)

* * *


	7. Destiny's Dress

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine

**Author's Note:** Prompt 8 is "dress." Where's prompt 7? I separated it from the other ficlets in Nonsensical Nuances because, by my standards, it was too long to qualify as a ficlet. I posted it as a one-shot entitled "Quality Television." Prompt 7 is "broadcast" and the one-shot involves Dorothy getting Relena to say various embarassing things during live television appearances. Of course, Heero's there for moral support. I'd really appreciate it if you'd read and review. Generally, I'm enjoying the loose continuity within NN so I may write non-prompt related one-shots within the same universe soon. Hoping you're enjoying my happy semi-canon compliant universe as well. :)

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Destiny's Dress**

"Heero, if you don't help me pick out a dress for Dorothy's gala, I'm going naked," blurted Relena, her exasperation apparent.

She stood in her bathrobe, glaring at Heero as he sat on her bed, already in his suit.

"Is that a promise?" he asked, adjusting his tie. She always made it too tight.

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

"Last I heard, you didn't want other men giving me dirty looks."

He shrugged. "So I'll blind anyone who gives you the eye."

"Dorothy included?"

"I don't have a death wish."

"Then help me pick a dress."

"Can't you wear that blue one?"

She immediately knew what dress he was talking about. Over the course of her short lifetime, she had owned but one blue dress and sworn never to wear another upon its destruction.

"From ten years ago? Are you joking?"

"Why not? Didn't you have it repaired?"

"I threw it out."

He seemed disappointed. "That's a pity."

"Besides, that style's long been out of fashion. Women nowadays- Well, they put a lot more on display."

"As long as it's you, I'll be looking. Anything's fine with me."

"Sweet talk is not going to buy you out of this decision, Heero."

"How about you and I skip the gala and have a party of our own? One where you can go naked and I won't have to blind anybody."

"If that party's in your pants, no."

"I won't be wearing pants."

"Double no."

"Just wear that sexy red thing you wore to dinner last month."

"Dorothy's already seen me in it."

"So have I. I want to see you in it again."

"You really don't get it, do you?"

He shrugged. "Wish you'd kept that dress."

She sighed. "The dress I wore when you first aimed a gun at me? How romantic."

"The safety was on."

She raised an eyebrow. "And you're telling me this now?"

"It's not something you tell a girl you're trying to scare off. Besides, I really liked that dress. You used it to patch me up."

"Before you tried to kill yourself!"

"We were young and foolish."

"More foolish than most."

She retreated to her walk-in closet, smiling to herself.

"Like I'd ever really throw it away," she thought. The torn blue dress rested somewhere Heero would never find it, nestled in a hat box at the heart of her closet. Defeated by his lack of interest in her clothing choices, she opted for a simple strapless black dress. Safe choice.

She stepped out to ask his opinion and saw him hastily stuffing something back into his coat pocket.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. You're beautiful. Meet you downstairs."

"Sure," she replied, ignoring her confusion.

Was it just her imagination or had he been playing with torn blue fabric?

* * *

Prompt 8 accomplished. It's actually Ficlet 7 since Prompt 7 was One-shot 1 but I don't want to bother with complex numbering.


	8. Pugilism

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine

**Author's Note:** Prompt 9 is "knockout."

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Pugilism  
**

"Heero, I may have been a princess but you're not a damned knight who needs to defend my honor. For heaven's sake, you already took it!"

"I won, didn't I?" he asked, grimacing in pain as she pressed the ice pack into his bruise with more pressure than was necessary.

"Didn't you think I could handle myself?"

"From what I saw, he was the one doing most of the handling. I promised I would protect you, remember? Nobody touches you like that."

"You do," she pointed out. "All the time."

"I'm the one exception to the rule."

"Lord Ashcroft was out cold, Heero. They had to rush him to the hospital. Can you take this more seriously?"

"That old bat isn't going to die. I also promised you I wouldn't kill anymore. I just took him out of commission for awhile."

"Still, there are legal consequences for your actions. What if he decides to press charges?"

"He won't. Not unless he wants his wife serving him with divorce papers. I have dirt on every guest that was at that gala. You don't have to worry."

"Weaseling your way out of the consequences doesn't make you right. Heero, I could have lost you."

"The old man wasn't a threat."

"If they put you away for this... I wouldn't be able to bear it. I'll be sure they let you know when I die of depression while you're serving ten to twenty-five for manslaughter."

Again, she pressed the ice against his face with a force that was enough to give his bruise a bruise.

"I already told you," he said, wincing but refusing to cry out even as his eyes threatened to tear. "He's not going to die or press charges."

"And Preventer? What are they going to say about this? It's unbecoming."

"They assigned me to protect you. I was simply doing my job."

"Heero, we're not fifteen anymore. I know you act on your emotions but think first!"

"I did. I considered all the worst case scenarios and found ways to avoid them."

"You didn't avoid that punch very well."

"I didn't expect you to have such a mean left hook."

* * *

Prompt 9 accomplished. :)


	9. Work Related Injury

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note: **Prompt 10 is "eyewitnesses."

**Nonsense Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Work Related Injury**

Duo absentmindedly toyed with a paperclip, bending it into a myriad of shapes before shooting it into the wastebasket. Hilde paid him no mind, absorbed in the charts and graphs on her computer screen.

"We're really not going to talk about what we saw?" he asked, taking another unfortunate paperclip and beginning its execution by contortion. The God of Death of Office Supplies was bored out of his wits and itching to discuss something that supposedly never happened.

"We saw nothing," replied Hilde, adjusting the curve on a particularly complex graph for her presentation the following week. "It's really not our business what he does, Duo."

"But-"

"He'll be kicking yours if you don't shut up."

"Relena's been looking for that thing everywhere. She'll kill him if she finds out he-"

"And then he'll rise from the grave to kill us. Not another word."

"But-"

"We saw nothing," she repeated. "Get back to work."

"I mean it's Heero. Who'd have thought?"

Her head collided with the keyboard, filling the screen with a mess of numbers, letters and symbols. "If we talk about this, will you let me finish my presentation?"

"Maybe," he grinned. "Anyway, what do you think?"

"I think what he's doing for Miss Relena is sweet. You'd do a good job by following his lead."

He snickered. "Jealous, babe?"

"Who wouldn't be? The effort he puts into that thing is- I didn't think he had it in him. He's horrid at it but he still manages to deliver."

"You didn't like how I souped up your motorcycle after I crashed it?" he asked, feigning a frown.

She giggled. "Of course, I did. And painting it to look like Deathscythe was a nice touch. Nobody gets in my way. But what Heero's doing for the princess...it's on another level."

A knock was heard on the door, and Heero entered to an unsettling quiet. Walking over to Hilde's desk, he grabbed a folder, but not before Duo made a grab for his wrist.

"That's a lot of band-aids, Heero," commented Duo as blue glared into jovial indigo. "How'd that happen again?"

Heero jerked his hand out of Duo's grasp and stormed off without a word, slamming the door behind him.

"Did you really have to do that?" sighed Hilde.

"The boy needs sewing lessons, babe. The sooner he admits it to himself, the sooner he'll get that damned bear patched up."

* * *

Prompt 10 done. That's the final prompt for June. Waiting on those July prompts... :)


	10. Footwear Physics

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note: **Just a non-prompt based ficlet to make this an even ten. :p Still waiting on July prompts.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Footwear Physics**

He carried her up the steps of the courthouse, her body slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She didn't bother to struggle, knowing her efforts would be fruitless. Besides, the recent downpour had left the steps rather slippery. The last thing she wanted to do was squirm and send both of them to their deaths.

She sighed. What was left for her anyway? When he put her down, her career would be over. How many photographers had gotten a shot of her being hauled up the steps by a Preventer? Would they see their vice foreign minister as a prima donna now?

She groaned. Maybe an unceremonious fall wouldn't be so bad. Her tragic demise would eclipse this embarrassment. There was also the added bonus of taking him to hell with her. At the moment, the only thing keeping her from any attempts to make him slip was the knowledge that he was very good at surviving falls. While she would probably break her neck, he would undoubtedly survive and continue lecturing to her lifeless body.

"You really should consider Preventer-issue combat boots," he told her, not missing a beat as he took each step up with annoyingly slow care. "They're built for traction."

"If they're built for traction, surely you can get up these stairs faster so I can get down," she forced out through gritted teeth.

"We can't take any chances."

"I'm running late!"

"You wouldn't be running late if you'd changed your footwear in the car as I'd advised."

"I am not going to wear your hideous boots with this suit. Are you insane? The press is here."

"What would have been less of a spectacle? A fashion don't or this?"

"I put them at the same level," she huffed.

"You really shouldn't have run, Relena. Dashing up wet stairs in high heels is insanity. The sheer physics of it is-"

"Women in heels have a God-given ability to defy physics. Haven't you heard?"

"You would have slipped and hurt yourself," he told her, ignoring her reasoning. "You could have died."

The concern in his voice was almost enough to melt her.

Almost.

"Heero, I'm not made of glass."

"I know," he replied, stopping just short of the last step. "I just don't want you taking any risks with your life. Your safety is my primary concern."

"I understand," she told him, eager to get out of his grasp. "Really, I do. Could you please put me down now? We can talk about this at length later."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"We have one step to go."

"Then why don't you take it?"

"I want to make sure I've gotten across to you. I'm not going to let you brush me off. Next time, pack some flat shoes. Is that understood?"

There was silence on her part. Would she give in? Was she going to let him win this one? How late was she already? Oh hell...

"Relena, is that understood? We can stay here like this all day. Heavy as you are, I can stand my ground."

Did he just call her fat? Oh, it was on!

"Yes, sir," she said begrudgingly, eager to bring the pain once she'd freed herself of him.

He finally took the last step and set her down on solid ground. Before hopping off to her meeting, she impaled his foot with her stiletto. Apparently, Preventer-issue combat boots weren't all they were cracked up to be.

* * *

Honestly, I've run in the rain in heels and I'm the clumsiest girl ever. Heero should really learn to trust a woman's God-given ability to defy physics. ;)


	11. Noontime Noodles

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note: **July's prompts have finally been released and I see that they're going to be toughies. Goodness, I haven't seen the sources for some of the quotes. Still, I'll do what I can. First July prompt is this quote from Pride and Prejudice, "It is a truth universally known that any man of fortune must be in want of a wife." Fortunately, I've read that. ;)

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Noontime Noodles  
**

For the fifth consecutive time that week, Heero sat down to a lunch of instant cup ramen. It was almost funny how he alternated between such meager fare at noon and fine cuisine at Relena's estate come dinner time. He really didn't care what he consumed for nourishment. To him, the occasional dessert was the only thing he considered a culinary highlight. Of course, any sweet thing tasted amazing when he sampled it on her lips.

Quatre passed by Heero's table with his own styrofoam cup of noodles, asking to sit. Heero responded with a faint nod which his comrade took as a signal to settle.

"Thanks," sighed Quatre. "Cafeteria's packed as usual. Une should consider renovating to accommodate all the new recruits."

"Maybe you should donate," smirked Heero.

Quatre's eyebrow rose. "You know I can't throw money around indiscriminately anymore. Why else would I be eating plastic string in hot water?"

"Your wife's a big spender."

"My wife _earns_ big money. Lost count of how many companies she's handling, Meanwhile, I subsist on the returns from my investments. One of them didn't turn out so well and, until my finances recover, I'm not asking her for cash. Last time I did... Being her personal manwho-"

"I get the point. I thought marriage meant shared assets."

"Pre-nup. My idea. No way were we going to let money destroy us. I wasn't marrying her because she was rich."

"Why then?" asked Heero, his curiosity piqued. He had always thought the Catalonia-Winner union was built on a financial alliance.

"The only good reason to marry a woman: I love her. Also, money makes a man lonely. You never know if the women in your life want you or that lovely piece of real estate you have in the Bahamas. With her...well, she's unique in her desires. For sure, money isn't what she wants."

Heero stared at the noodles floating around in his cup, trying to divine something in the meaningless patterns as the ancient Greeks sought the future in bowls of animal guts. Money... Well, Relena certainly didn't want him for that. The salary in his pocket was hers. She didn't earn much as a civil servant but the unfrozen Peacecraft assets as well as her inheritance from her deceased foster father helped fund Preventer. Thinking that he was financially dependent on her left a sinking feeling in his stomach. There was no way a girl like that would marry-

"Heero?"

"Hn?"

"Penny for your thoughts? I think I still have a few of those to pay for what's on your mind..."

"It's nothing."

"Miss Relena?"

Heero's eyebrow quirked. Had he become that predictable?

"You think too much," chortled Quatre. "Let me guess. You were wondering why she put up with you despite your...financial inadequacies."

"So the rumors are true," said Heero, irked at how easy he was to read. "You are an empath."

Quatre laughed. "I just know you better than most. Just don't think too hard. She loves you, Heero. It's as simple as that. Rich or poor, everyone seeks the other half of their heart. The rich just have a bit more trouble with it. Make it easy for her."

A loud beeping issued from Quatre's pocket. "And there goes my timer... Time to go back to work. Preventer assignments make good money. I'm quite sure you'll have a nice nest egg put away in a bit. Besides, money's not an issue with Miss Relena. If you bring it up, you'll only upset her. Best just not to think about it."

Quatre finished off his noodles, his face doing little to hide his disgust. Giving Heero a light pat on the shoulder for encouragement, the Winner heir left the table with a fervent hope that the perfect soldier would take his advice.

* * *

Not sure I tackled that properly but this is the result. Oh well...


	12. Steel Butterfly

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note: **The fourth July prompt is "I realize that when I met you at the turkey curry buffet, I was unforgivably rude, and wearing a reindeer jumper," from Bridget Jones' Diary. If you're wondering about prompts two and three they're posted as Fictional Account (a one-shot related to NN) and Parting (a ficlet too angsty to be related to NN in any way). Hoping to get your feedback on those stories as well. :) I haven't seen the movie this quote comes from so, again, I'm going at this blind.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Steel Butterfly**

"I refuse to apologize to that woman," declared Relena. "There's only so much I'm willing to do in the interest of peace."

"You insulted the spiritual successor to the Steel Butterfly," Heero pointed out. "An apology is the least you can do."

"So says the man who considers not issuing a death threat an excellent gesture of good will," she fumed.

"Relena..."

"She's insufferable!"

"Do you want to have an _unfortunate accident_ some time soon?"

"That's what I have you for, isn't it?"

"I thought you wanted to avoid violence at all costs."

"Sometimes, violence is warranted."

"All you have to do is walk up to her and say sorry."

"Over my dead body."

"She can arrange that."

Relena growled. "Steel Butterfly. Stepping on anything and everything that gets in her way..."

"Do I have to call Pagan to plead with you?"

"No."

"Then walk over there and say you're sorry."

"I don't want to!"

"Quit acting like a child. The last politician who offended her was found dead on a beach in Java. Hands and feet gone, all his teeth pulled out."

"And you're afraid I'll end up like that?"

"I'm going to be the one who'll end up like that for you."

"We're going to stoop to guilt tripping now, Heero?"

"I learned from the master."

With a sigh, Relena downed the last of her wine and shoved the glass at Heero.

"Assemble a search party if I don't come back," she muttered as she approached the detestable woman.

"Acknowledged," said Heero under his breath.

Relena tapped the Steel Butterfly on the shoulder and was immediately met with a glare.

"I'm sorry for overreacting about you wearing the same dress. I was out of line and incredibly rude."

The Steel Butterfly smirked. "Is that all? Won't you admit that I opted for this gown even before it caught your eye?"

Relena gritted her teeth. "We went shopping together. You know very well I was going to wear that, Dorothy."

Dorothy shrugged. "Still looks better on me. Apology accepted, Miss Relena. Now hop off. I'm waiting for the next social faux pas. Oh, and I had nothing to do with Pennyworth and Java. That was just convenient."

Relena sighed. "Right..."

* * *

Fourth July prompt done. Steel Butterfly was the namesake for Imelda Marcos. I recently read about her, and couldn't help but think, "Damn, these are things Dorothy would totally do." xD


	13. Reading Material

** Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note: **The fifth July prompt is "We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious." from the Lord of the Rings. Despite living under a rock in terms of movies and LOTR in general, I did manage to watch The Two Towers so I have some idea of what to do with this.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Reading Material  
**

"Heero Yuy, you will return that to me right this minute if you know what's good for you," she snarled, rising from her chair and placing both hands on her desk.

He ignored her, sitting pretty, flipping through the pages as if he'd heard nothing. She lunged at him from behind her desk but, before she knew it, the chair he'd previously occupied had fallen to the ground and he was halfway across the room. So it was a chase he wanted? So be it.

She went after him but he seamlessly dodged every dive she made, gliding across the room with unparalleled grace as she stumbled after him.

"Not until I find out what Lord St. Claire has that I don't," he smirked, momentarily dangling the romance novel before her eyes then swiftly pulling it back and continuing their frenzied game of cat and mouse across the room.

"He's blonde. What else do you need to know?" she growled, making a grab for his leg and finding nothing but air in her arms. "Why do you even care?"

"All you do before going to bed is read this. I'm just curious about the other man's techniques," he retorted. "Judging from this, he's more than blonde. He's rather well-equipped, too. "

He turned the page. "_Very _well-equipped," he added, dodging the shoe she threw at his head. "Tsk, Relena, you really shouldn't waste ammo. Have I taught you nothing?"

The second shoe hit him square in the forehead. "All right, it seems I have taught you a thing or two," he fumed, picking up speed as she rushed at him. "Still, that's not going to slow me down, princess. Or should I start calling you 'my lady' and make a habit of ripping your clothes off whenever I'm feeling frisky?"

"Give it back!" she yelped, going in for the kill with an attempted tackle. She quickly found her body slamming against the mercifully carpeted floor. If they'd been doing this on the marble floor of her ESUN office, she'd have been done for. This was her home office, home turf... Surely, she had the advantage here. What else could she use as a weapon now that her footwear was gone?

"_Melinda gasped in surprise as he truly revealed himself to her for the very first time_," read Heero, his tone ineffectual as he darted away from her crumpled body. "_Never before had she seen such a perfect specimen of-_"

"Shut up! I read for the plot."

"Right," he said, his tone oozing with sarcasm. "Because _'harder, my lord, harder,' _is a great basis for an excellent story. I'm confiscating this."

She watched in horror as he ran for the door. There was no way she could pick herself up in time to stop him. On the verge of defeat, she went for the last trick she had up her sleeve.

"Office lock down sequence Peacecraft Darlian beta one nine five!" she screamed just as the door swung open.

The door immediately slammed shut. Steel walls practically engulfed her office, descending over the door and all the windows, effectively blocking out the light of day and any way out.

"Command accepted," boomed Heero's recorded voice. "Please specify duration of lock down, Vice Foreign Minister Darlian."

"One hour."

"Confirmed."

"Vice Foreign Minister Darlian? Computer Heero sure is formal, isn't he?" she grinned, getting up off the floor to bask in her triumph. "How does it feel to be beaten at your own game?"

Heero only returned her grin, immediately killing her short-lived mirth. "Access system override. Yuy alpha zero one."

"Bastard!" she blurted. She ran at him just as the steel lifted to reveal the door.

"Re-initiate lock down," he said just loud enough for her to hear as the door closed behind him to slam in her face. "See you in an hour, Relena. Lord St. Claire and I need to go bond over a campfire."

* * *

Fifth July prompt done. Thankfully, as we saw in Solitaire, Relena also has her romance novels in e-book format. ;)


	14. Hollow Girl

** Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note: **The seventh July prompt is "The digital pimp hard at work" from The Matrix. Again, haven't seen the movie, writing blind. If you're wondering about prompt six, it's posted as Stages of Dread (a one-shot wherein Heero writes a formal report about a PMSing Relena). This ficlet is related to Initiation Rite since this party is hosted by Avalon, the gentlemen's club from that ficlet. It also reveals a bit more about the manwhore mission from Terminology.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Hollow Girl**

An orchestra played as the gentlemen of Avalon steered their dates across the floor with a strange lethargy. Relena stifled a yawn. Everyone knew the action didn't happen in the ballroom. All the fun took place upstairs, in the private chambers reserved for the most elite members. Gambling, loose men and women... She wanted no part of that but neither did she enjoy this stuffy affair meant to keep invited non-members occupied.

"Sweetheart, you'd make an amazing hollow girl," grinned a strange lady, her hand stroking Relena's face in a way that made the young politician jump in surprise. "Party's dull. You'd think Avalon would know how to throw a bash. Would you like to come with me?

"Excuse me," interjected Heero, his tone carrying a dark undercurrent.

He swiftly shoved Relena behind him and out of view. It was amazing how quickly he responded to a perceived threat.

"The vice foreign minister isn't interested."

"Vice foreign minister?" sneered the woman, unperturbed. "High-class, is she? I thought I recognized her. Dorothy sure has interesting friends. I'm Madame Y, the male and female fulfillment consultant for Avalon."

"Pimp," he corrected. "Your euphemisms are of no use here."

"No need to be so crude. There's an art to the erotic. The _experts_ I handle are nothing short of genius."

"If you're so proud of your profession, why don't you use your real name?"

"Why?" she smirked. "The essence of the question is my name. Also, you should give me due respect, Heero Yuy. I helped you with that ridiculous mission of yours, and this is how you repay my hospitality after all these years?"

"I thought I recognized you. That call girl from Xanthippe," he growled, her face suddenly awakening unpleasant memories long buried within him. "So you worked your way up and brokered a deal with Avalon. As for your _hospitality_, I could have done without you dressing me in drag and leaving me in the red light district to be hit on by drunks."

"You weren't interested in me," she shrugged. "It was unforgivable. Also, you were fabulous."

"That's beside the point," he bit out. "Miss Darlian has no interest in being a hollow girl so you would do well to leave her alone."

"Do you really need a man to speak for you, sweetheart?" she said, peering at Relena.

Relena sighed. She hated it when clueless idiots underestimated her.

"Heero, stand aside."

He obeyed her command, exposing the harlot to her glare.

"He was protecting me about as much as he was protecting you," she snarled. "No man speaks for me unless I wish it."

"Little girl, you don't scare me," chortled Madame Y. "But seriously, you'd be an excellent hollow girl. Customers like a lady with spirit."

"I'm a politician."

"A beautiful one. What a waste..."

"I reserve my charms for one man."

"And who would that be?" she guffawed. "Women like you marry their careers."

She smirked. "I cheat on mine."

"With who? Your vibrator?"

"Him," she grinned sardonically, gesturing to Heero. "I'm the reason he turned you down. I'm so very glad you think I'm pretty. Acknowledging that you don't have a chance is the first step to recovery. That is, if you recover at all... Come on, Heero."

She stalked off, him following closely at her heels.

"You have no idea what a hollow girl is, do you?" he smiled into her ear.

"Not a clue."

* * *

Seventh July prompt done. A hollow girl is basically a holo-girl. A model for a holographic magazine. Basically, a model for 3D pictures. :p


	15. Acumen

** Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note: **The eighth July prompt is "I wish I'd stayed, too. NOW I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things. I wish I'd... I wish I'd stayed... I do. " from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Smite me for, again, I haven't watched this. :( This continues from Hollow Girl.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Acumen  
**

"You really do love her, don't you?" queried Dorothy as she ran her slender fingers over her suit, smoothing out imagined wrinkles.

"Too much," he responded, taking another sip of burgundy. "Or so she says..."

He watched as Relena conversed with a gaggle of scantily dressed women. Madame Y glared at her from the bar, downing shots with careless abandon. It seemed the former queen of the world still had the power to enthrall people of all kinds.

"Particularly chatty tonight, are we?" remarked Dorothy, absentmindedly straightening out her tie.

"Drunk."

"Ah yes, how else would you be able to endure us? How else could you stand to stay?"

"It's not a matter of how but why. I have good reason to stay."

"Two full sentences? Are you aware you're speaking to the woman you once called the personification of hell?"

"All women are."

"Even Relena?"

"Most especially."

"Then what is this good reason of yours?"

"I don't want to regret not being here."

"Not being here?"

"Near."

"Near?"

"I don't consider imitation a form of flattery, Dorothy."

"Come on, you know I tease. Actually, I didn't come here for idle chitchat. I wanted to ask your permission."

"Since when do you ask permission for anything?"

"I have a gentleman's heart," she smiled. "Respecting the object of another gentleman's affection is tantamount."

His eyebrow rose.

"At least within these walls," she added with a mild laugh. "Would you let me dance with her?"

"As long as I don't have to dance with Quatre. He's not in a dress, is he?"

"He's not in anything. Poor thing's sound asleep upstairs. Someone will come untie him in the morning."

"Is your primary goal to make him regret marrying you?"

"If you're going to strive for something, might as well strive for the impossible."

Heero never would understand how Dorothy's mind worked.

"Just hurry up and dance with her before I change my mind."

"That eager to be rid of me?"

"Yes."

"All right then. We'll stay within sniping distance," she declared as she walked off.

He smiled as Dorothy surprised Relena with a kiss on the hand. The blush that crept across the princess's face was visible even from where he stood. Relena quickly regained her composure and let Dorothy lead her in a waltz. That tinge of pink persisted on on her face as she slid across the floor. It was then that he felt truly justified in his decision to stay near her. As long as he was always close enough to see life in her eyes, he would regret nothing.

* * *

Eight July prompt done. After Heero had his one on one with Quatre, I thought Dot deserved a turn.


	16. State of Undress

**Disclaimer: **GW = not mine

**Author's Note: **Smarty Cat's _Out of Control_ sort of inspired this. This ficlet concludes the loose trilogy involving the Avalon party that began in Hollow Girl. Based on the ninth July prompt "What can we expect? It's war...." from Night. The orthodox approach would be the usual lover's quarrel. I try to avoid orthodox. ;) War leads to the most unexpected moments.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**State of Undress**

Relena looked out the car window, enthralled by the full moon as it followed them on their journey home.

"Do you still remember what you said the first time I saw you in your underwear?" he asked, his voice carrying a seriousness that clashed with the subject matter.

"You really are drunk, aren't you?" she sighed, letting him rest his head against her shoulder as she continued moon gazing.

"Do you remember?" he insisted. "It was then that I promised I would protect you."

She stifled a laugh. Heero rarely got intoxicated, and when he did, he said the strangest things. It was often a source of amusement since, no matter what nonsense he was spewing, he would speak just as he would if he were sober. Her strangest trips down memory lane were often triggered by his random alcohol-induced remarks.

"No," she replied. "But I'm sure you do…"

"Remember Libra? The locker room?"

"Not exactly."

"You were so-"

"Annoying?"

"Plucky."

"_I'm quite sure you don't want to look but I'm not going to stop you if you do," she told him, undoing the fastenings on her skirt before letting it drop. "This is war, after all. Modesty is a privilege."_

_His eyes were transfixed on her. She paid him no mind, making quick work of the buttons on her blouse._

"_Shouldn't you be getting changed, too?" she asked as she stepped out of her shoes, noting how his gaze was now glued to her chest. _

"_When I met you-"_

_He cut himself off, feeling a strange heat creep across his face. It was unlike him to make the mistake of giving his private thoughts a voice._

"_You wanted to kill me," she said, choosing words she thought he would use. "Understandable."_

_She stood before him in nothing but a pair of white panties and a matching bra. Her underwear was beyond plain, the sort a girl wore when she had no intention of showing anyone what was beneath her clothes. Why was he so fascinated? Maybe because she treated him like he was no threat of all. The things she made him want to do to her-_

"_I never thought you would be the first and last girl I'd see in a state of undress," he blurted._

_What the hell was wrong with him?! Dr. J had told him that people did stupid things when they knew they were going to die shortly. Heero always thought he was the exception. Apparently not._

_To make matters worse, her stunned silence was swiftly shattered as she dissolved into laughter. _

_She was laughing!_

_Laughing! _

_At him!_

_His face felt like it was on fire now._

"_I highly doubt I'll be your last," she smiled, wiping a tear from her eye as she grabbed a spacesuit from the nearby locker. "You're much too handsome. Oh goodness, thanks for the laugh. Such a morbid sense of humor you have…"_

_He acts like an ass. She gives him a compliment. This girl was a candidate for sainthood. The world needed a girl like her…_

"_I'm going to protect you," he told her._

_She didn't seem to hear as she sought the zipper on her spacesuit. _

"Ah yes," she chortled as it came back to her. "Heero Yuy, regular teenage boy. That was quite the surprise."

"Did you want to be?" he asked, his voice weary.

"Did I want to be what?"

"My first and last," he said, letting a yawn escape.

"I certainly didn't want to be your first," she snorted. "Not in that underwear, at least. And of course I'd like to be your last. Every woman wants the man she loves to have eyes for her alone."

Her words were met with silence. She looked at him, his eyes now closed, his head still resting on her shoulder.

"Sleep well, drunk Heero," she smiled, kissing his forehead. "I'm going to miss you. Hangover Heero isn't half as fun…"

* * *

Ninth prompt done. One to go. Thankfully, I watched Enchanted for the first time yesterday so I have ammo for some self-prompt based fun.


	17. Tag

**Disclaimer: **GW = not mine

**Author's Note: **The tenth July prompt is "She was the still point of the turning world, man. " from The Virgin Suicides. Haven't read the book or watched the movie. My goodness, I'm behind on pop culture. Forgive the sap. :) I interpreted this as catching a particular moment in time. Also, not sure if Heero's OOC. I see him here as having the spirit of the same boy who was laughing his head off in EW, just happy to be alive.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Tag**

The one picture of her he kept framed was one he would never let her see. Tucked away in his desk drawer, that snapshot was a precious sight for his eyes alone. For certain, she'd ask him to pick a _better_ photo of her to keep around the office if she ever laid eyes on it. Also, she had no idea he had this particular image. What she didn't know couldn't hurt him...

He often looked at the image in times of tedium, allowing himself a broad grin no one would see. When he'd taken this picture, he hadn't regretted it in the least. Looking at it now, he was quite sure he never would.

Relena glared at him from within the frame, her fit of pique forever frozen in time. The sleeveless white dress she wore was covered in wet earth, her straw hat blown out of the picture. She had stumbled and was now on her knees in a mud puddle. He thought nothing better than to immortalize the childlike vision before him. With a flash from his camera, she was soon scurrying after him, screaming at him to delete the digital image. How horrified would she be to know that he now had a framed glossy printout? How confused would she be to know the honored place that moment held in his heart?

_"Delete it!" she screamed, flinging her sandals off as she chased after him. _

_He didn't respond, only kept running, laughter bubbling up inside him. How long had it been since he'd laughed with such careless abandon? He didn't care to remember, enjoying the present as best he could. In his newfound zeal for spontaneity, he hardly noticed the rock that would be his downfall. As he stumbled, she crashed into his back, landing him face first into the mud as she lay sprawled atop him._

_"Your camera!" she exclaimed, immediately rolling off him. _

_He rose, still smiling through a mask of mud despite the knowledge that the expensive piece of crushed technology hanging around his neck would probably take days to repair._

_"It's ok," he told her. "I can fix anything."_

_"Some date this turned out to be..."_

_"The picnic basket's still waiting on top of the hill. That is, if you'll still have me..."_

_She laughed. "If you'll still have _me_," she corrected. "I'm the muddy madwoman who destroyed your camera."_

_"And that's exactly how I'd like to remember you," he smirked. "The crazy wild child who never gave up the chase."_

_"You flatter yourself, Heero Yuy. If I recall right, these past few years, it's been you chasing me."_

_He shrugged. "It was my turn to be 'it.'"_

_"Well, I don't want to be 'it' ever again," she sighed, getting up and offering him her hand. _

_"I thought it was in a politician's nature to run," he joked, letting her pull him up._

_"Run, yes," she admitted. "Stalk, no. In my case, not anymore."_

_"Don't worry, the game will end once I catch you."_

_"The game's been over for a long time then," she smiled, surprising him as she crushed her mouth against his._

_"What are you saying?" he blurted, once she finally decided to let him breathe._

_She wiped the mud from her lips and smiled. "I love you, too."_

_His mouth fell open. All those months telling her he loved her as she slept because he never had the courage to tell her in the waking world... Had she heard him?_

_"I'm a light sleeper," she chortled, reading his mind as she sealed his lips shut with another kiss._

It took quite awhile to salvage the memory chip from the wreckage of his camera. Why was it that the most complex technology, more often than not, also tended to be the most fragile? One would think that hefty price tag would make an item tough as steel instead of delicate as glass. He eventually did manage to restore his digital camera to working condition but it took weeks instead of days, and probably cost him more in replacement parts than what he would have spent buying a new one. Still, the camera was a precious thing. It was the sole witness and catalyst to the moment she gave him her heart.

Stealing a glance at his watch, he put the picture back in its hiding place. No doubt, she was still at her office, just waiting for him to give her the usual scolding for working far too late. Who was he to let her down? He didn't care what she said. The game never did end, and he was still chasing after her. Not that it mattered. When it came to her, he was more than happy to forever be 'it.'

* * *

Tenth prompt done. Next ficlet will either be prompt-free or inspired by Enchanted. :p


	18. Namesake

**Disclaimer: **GW = not mine

**Author's Note:** Since I've dispatched all the assigned prompts for this month, I thought I'd work on this plot bunny. This was inspired by a silly little anecdote from History class. Apparently, a certain warlord was _worked_ to death on his honeymoon. ;)

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Namesake  
**

Relena frowned, setting the thick leather-bound collection of Peacecraft history down on her bedside table.

"Tough read?" asked Heero, settling into bed beside her.

"Just finished reading the sordid history of the woman I was named after. She wasn't exactly...wholesome."

"Wasn't she a warrior queen?"

"Yes, she killed quite a slew of old kings. Expanded Sank via a string of marriages."

"Her bloody background puts you off?"

"All her husbands died of... _exertion_."

"Exertion?"

"She fucked old men to death, Heero. The first Relena Peacecraft was a killer nympho."

Heero balked at her use of expletives. She only cursed when she was really upset.

"Well, surely there must be other Relenas. More noble-"

"There's her, and there's me. Milliardo got lucky. There are twenty-eight of him. Even if some of them were decidedly horrid, the remarkable ones offset that."

"Have you asked Pagan about this?"

"I already did. Doesn't make me feel any better..."

_"_Lena_ means 'light' in Greek," explained Pagan. "Since she was to be queen, _regina_ in Latin, her parents, lovers of language, merged the two words. Relena was to be the queen who brought light in an age of darkness. They gave her a name no one else had, a name she could make history with knowing none had come before her. She didn't exactly do her name proud but your father thought it was a beautiful name that didn't deserve to die. He thought you would do greater things with it than its previous owner."_

"That doesn't seem so bad."

"It doesn't change the fact that I'm named after a sex assassin queen."

"Hardly anybody remembers her. You've made the name yours. When people hear your name, none of them think about... Well, they think about you, not some obscure historical figure."

"Easy for you to say. The first Heero Yuy was a great man."

"And people mostly associate the name with him, not me. I was named after him. You're someone who'll have people named after her."

"I hope not," she groaned. "This name-"

"Is you," he finished for her. "As far as I'm concerned, you may not be the first Relena Peacecraft but you're the one I think of when I hear the name. Relena is the fifteen year old who asked me to dance even as I held a gun to her head. She's the princess who advocated pacifism even when everything was against her. She was queen of the world. She's vice foreign minister. Most importantly, she's the woman I'm in love with. I don't think of some nympho who killed kings with her sexual prowess. Granted, I think you could pull that- Oof!"

"Tsk, tsk. You were doing so well, Heero," she laughed, hitting him with her pillow again. "You do know that her blood runs through my veins, right? How sad for you if her skills for _exertion_ happen to be hereditary..."

"Relena, is that a death threat?"

"Perhaps," she chortled. "Shall I act on it?"

"As long as it doesn't hurt like hell..."

"I make no guarantees," she smirked, silencing him with a kiss.

* * *

I always wondered what Rel's name meant. I improvised here, and made up my own based on what research I could gather. Silly Japanese people with their made-up anime character names. :p


	19. Call to Arms

**Disclaimer: **GW = not mine

**Author's Note:** So a random line came to me out of nowhere. Just had to give it a story to live in. ;) Of course, this ficlet starts with that line.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Call to Arms  
**

"If any of you die on me, I'll kill you," she threatened, pacing in front of the five man line-up before her. "Do you hear me? This is war, gentlemen. We will take no prisoners."

"Our little pacifist's all grown up and out for blood," sighed Duo.

"You dare condescend, Maxwell?" she barked.

"No, ma'am. 'Course not. We're gonna win this thing."

"Now listen here. Magnus Montgomery is a real piece of work. He'll stop at nothing to win. Nothing! I will not be vanquished again."

"We understand what this means to you, Miss Relena," stated Trowa.

"Do you?" she bellowed, stopping before him, her face now mere inches from his as spittle landed on his cheek. "No, you don't. None of you do!"

"Every year since you were twelve," sighed Quatre. "Not once has Montgomery fallen..."

"This year is different," interjected Wufei. "This year she has us."

"Foolish optimism," thought Heero to himself.

"Exactly. This year, victory will be ours. Isn't that right, Heero?"

Silence.

He had been her only support during last year's battle. They lost miserably. What made her think more reinforcements would help matters? He was the best, and he had failed her in this. There was no way a little help was going to change things.

"Heero?"

"Hn," he replied, mentally preparing himself for dealing with her depression once she was crushed yet again.

"Good enough. Have the fires been stoked?"

"Aye," replied Duo, taking his station by the furnace.

"Weapons?"

Trowa and Quatre gestured to the nearby table, heaped with only the finest machinery.

"Supplies?"

Wufei was dragging in sacks of the various required commodities even as she spoke.

"Battle gear?"

With those words, Heero wrapped her in her apron, neatly tying the bow behind her.

Over the P. A. system, an announcer's voice boomed, "Let the 25th Annual Weridge Charity Bake-off begin!"

* * *

Yes, it's a silly piece. I've just always wanted to do drill sergeant Relena.


	20. Drunken Discourse

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note:** Blame Gunther and The Ding Dong Song for this one. I am so making an AMV to that song once I master Sony Vegas 8.

**Nonsensical Nuances**  
**by mistress amethyst une**

**Drunken Discourse  
**

"I am not going to call him that," declared Relena adamantly.

"But he is _that_," pointed out Dorothy. "What are you so afraid of? We've already established that he can't kill you."

"No, of course not. He'll die of embarrassment before then."

"I want to see him squirm, Relena. Pretty please. It's my damned birthday party."

"And human suffering is the ideal present?"

"You know me too well."

The former queen of the world sighed. "You're lucky this is a private gathering. I swear.... Dorothy, if you tape this and it leaks to the media-"

"Just do it. Stock up on liquid courage if you have to."

"Is this my license to help myself to your liquor cabinet?"

An hour later, Relena was sauntering around the sparsely populated ballroom. They were all friends here. All lovely, wonderful friends. No real humiliation. Happy birthday, Dorothy. This one's for you...

She sidled up to Heero, making sure Dorothy was within earshot.

"Hey you," she giggled. "You wanna know something?"

"You're drunk," he stated, grabbing her by the arms and propping her up.

"That's not it," she frowned. "Good guess though."

"What?" he sighed, wanting her to finish whatever damned task she needed intoxication for. He knew very well that Relena never got drunk without a purpose. Usually, she only ingested alcohol to get something done, something she could never do sober without spontaneously combusting from shame.

She grinned. "Do you know what you are?"

"Sober."

"No fun. Can you quit answering wrong already?"

"All right, fine. What am I?"

"Well, it's more what I wanted you to be. Then again, it's what you already are now. Funny how that works out... Though right now, you aren't acting like it."

"Like what?"

"Like what I want you to be and what you usually are."

"Which is?"

Again with the girlish giggling. Sober Relena would probably look at this mess and say, "Dear lord, tell me that isn't me. There's a reason I don't drink...often."

"You already know. Come on! What do I want you to be right now?"

He looked at her with genuine confusion. He really had no clue.

She pouted. "Do I really have to tell you?"

"Yes."

"Pftt...fine. I..." she began, forcefully and repeatedly jabbing her index finger against his chest to stress the point.

"...want you..."

And now it felt more like she was stabbing him.

"...to be my love toy!"

Flash!

"I'm definitely framing that," smirked Dorothy, a pleased look on her face as she viewed the digital image on her camera. "I think I'll call it 'Dumbstruck, Dopey and Deceived.' Thank you, Miss Relena."

Relena straightened up, surprisingly regaining coherence. "I hope you're happy, Dorothy. Having to fake it isn't easy."

"You're the one who refused the free pass to my alcohol alcove. But brava nonetheless..."

"What exactly is going on?" asked Heero, eyeing his now sober girlfriend with suspicion.

"Dorothy wanted a show," sighed Relena. "Make you squirm she said. Nothing gets you squirming worse than when I'm drunk and rambling. Then again, I'm never in the proper state of mind to enjoy that side of you. Dorothy, copies please?"

* * *

I know, I know. It's so not fair that I always let Rel win. :p

* * *


	21. Perfekt Dey

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note: **August prompts are here so I can finally work on this. The first August prompt is "haven't laughed this hard in a long time, better stop now before I start crying." from the Elliot Smith song "Twilight." Listened to the song but didn't like it much. Anyway...

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Perfekt Dey**

She didn't want to close her eyes, refused to sleep. To surrender to slumber would be to let the day end. And she didn't want the best day she'd had in ages to end just yet...

"Just let me stay up til' midnight," she pleaded, even as Heero wrapped an arm around her waist. They lay spooned together in bed, his warmth urging her to rest.

"Why?"

"I just want to enjoy today down to the last second. Sentimentality."

"Hn," he grunted, tightening his grip on her slightly. "Tomorrow's a holiday so you can sleep in."

"I know. Thank you so much. What you did today-"

"It was no trouble. I can't make tomorrow any less sad, Relena. This was all I could do."

"And I thank you for it. You know, I almost feel guilty. If tomorrow wasn't a holiday, I might very well have forgotten. You almost made me forget."

"I apologize."

"No need. You were just trying to make tomorrow easier. And you have..."

"I told your PR team that you don't intend to do a public address this year. That you wished to celebrate tomorrow in private."

"I don't think I would use 'celebrate.' Still, that's a good call. I don't really want to face the media tomorrow. Not after today. Not after—" She paused to sigh. "—perfection."

"If that was perfection, you're a cheap date."

"I know. Aren't you glad? By the way, how did you find out about my 'perfect day?'"

"Pagan. You made lovely crayon scribbles, Relena. Almost charming how you spell 'day' with an 'e' and 'perfect' with a 'k.'"

"I was five and I thought that spelling was prettier," she huffed. "Still you fulfilled it down to the letter, misspelled as it was."

She knew the list by heart.

"Wake up at noon," she began.

"Check."

"Banana split for breakfast."

"Check."

"Wear pyjamas all day."

"Check."

"Splash around in the tub."

"I think we were liberal with that one. Not what your five year old self had in mind."

Relena failed to stifle a laugh. "Consider it checked anyway. We were liberal with dinner, too. Skipped it instead of having 'as many gumballs as I can fit in my mouth.'"

"Your mouth was preoccupied with other b-"

"Heero!"

"Sorry. It was too easy... Anyway, wasn't the last thing stay up past ten? One last liberty?"

She nodded, watching at the last few seconds of the day ticked by. Midnight had arrived.

"Time for bed," she said, her tone resigned and serious. For the first time in ten years, the tears didn't come. Heero was right. She had to 'celebrate,' not grieve.

"I still miss you, Father," she thought to herself. "But I won't cry anymore. I never got to spend my 'perfect day' with you but that's all right. Even if you're gone, even if I still miss you, I'm finally not lonely anymore. I finally found someone to spend my 'perfect day' with."

A single tear slid down her face...

"And I thank you for helping him find his way to me..."

* * *

Ficlet done. :)


	22. Unbirthday

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note: **Using the fourth August prompt "Bring on the wonder. Bring on the song. I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long." from Susan Enan's "Bring on the Wonder." For some weird reason, this brought birthdays to mind.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Unbirthday**

Relena set the chocolate cupcake on Heero's desk, a single lit candle poking out of the baked confection. He peered up at her, momentarily putting down the papers he was reading.

"That's a fire hazard," he told her, quickly blowing the candle out.

Her hand went to her hip, and she pouted at him. "Did you even bother to make a wish?"

"What for?" he asked, turning his attention to his documents once more.

"For your birthday."

"I don't have a birthday."

"You just don't know when your birthday is. I decided today was as good a day as any."

He looked at her once more, now thoroughly confused. "You decided?"

She nodded. "It's been too long since we've had a cause to celebrate. Besides, I'm assuming you've never had a proper birthday."

"There was never a proper time, reason or purpose. Relena, please tell me you didn't plan anything grand."

"Of course not. I know better. This is strictly a private affair."

Puzzlement seemed to have permanently etched itself onto his face. "It's still not my birthday."

"It's your unbirthday then."

"Unbirthday?"

"Didn't you ever read Alice in Wonderland?"

"Dr. J asked me to read some pre-colony literature. If I recall correctly, Alice in Wonderland was an excellent exercise in logic. The mathematical references to bases and positional numeral systems in the second chapter-"

"Are we talking about the same book?"

"I think so. I do remember 'unbirthdays' being mentioned. It doesn't make sense for you to celebrate my unbirthday. I have 364 of them. You can't celebrate them all. It's not time and cost efficient."

"Well, we'll celebrate just this one unbirthday."

"Why? What's so special about today?"

"Nothing at all. It's just an ordinary day. That's why I picked it."

"That doesn't make sense."

"It makes perfect sense," argued Relena. "You don't take a special day and make it even more special. That's just not fair to all the other neglected days of the year. Better that you take an ordinary day and improve upon it..."

The way he looked at her seemed to indicate that she had grown an extra head. He rose from his seat and touched the back of his hand against her forehead.

"You don't have a fever so I know you're not delirious," he stated, trying to diagnose what exactly was causing her to act so strangely. "Have you, to your knowledge, ingested any narcotics, hallucinogens-"

"I'm not high, Heero."

Exasperated, he sat back down. "I really don't see a point to this. If I did have a birthday, I'd be turning twenty-six. Not exactly a milestone year."

"Every year's a milestone. Especially for you. You've survived eleven years in my acquaintance, more or less."

"Shouldn't I be the one saying that?"

"We've survived each other," she chortled. "Come on, Heero. Give me an excuse to celebrate."

"I have to work."

"Heero, I'm your work. Remember?"

"Playing the boss card isn't fair."

"Can you honestly tell me that you'd rather be in here reading reports?"

He paused, trying to force out a yes under the heat of her glare. "No."

"Then hurry up and eat your cupcake so I can take you out."

"But-"

"Just do it," she smiled, staring at him intently as he ate his unbirthday cake. It wasn't long until he bit into something rather curious.

"You stole it?" he gaped at her, pulling the simple diamond studded gold band from the dessert.

"Duo let slip what you were planning for next week. Pagan stole it for me. You're not the only one who hates a big fuss. I thought I'd beat you to it."

Heero made a mental note to kill Duo. "Relena, this isn't what I had in mind."

"I know," she smiled. "I really hope you don't hate me for spoiling your plans. It's just that-"

"So how exactly does this work now?" he smirked. "Am I asking you or are you asking me?"

She would always be impressed with how calmly he dealt with unexpected situations. Well, two could play at that game.

"How about both?" she suggested.

"Ladies first," he offered, looking way too pleased with himself.

"Fine then," she shrugged. "Do you want me to get down on bended knee?"

"You might tear your skirt."

"I thought you'd like that."

"I'd like to tear your skirt off myself."

She picked up a folder off his desk and swatted at him. "You're putting me off, Mr. Yuy."

"Just ask me already."

"Charming," she drawled, rolling her eyes before finally popping the question. "Will you marry me?"

Long pause.

"You can answer, you know. Any time today. Just so-"

"If you'll marry me, too," he stated plainly, taking her left hand, preparing to put the ring on her.

She laughed. "Well, if you put it that way, why not?"

"You don't want me stating all the reasons why not. Is that a yes or a no?"

"Yes," she nodded, unable to suppress a grin as he slipped the ring on her finger. "Happy unbirthday, Heero."

"You're going to have a hard time getting me a better present next year."

* * *

I thought I might as well get them engaged since I'm ending NN at the 30th ficlet. It's a long engagement though. No weddings and bachelor parties here. I've already caved in to one cliche...


	23. Couch Conversation

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note: **Using the seventh August prompt "You fell down the stairs into my arms and swiftly ran the other way, and I heard the steady swell of applause for two drunk kids trying to figure out which way was home, they got lost as they were taking off each other's clothes, they realized there was a hole in the boat" from "Fell Down the Stairs" by Tilly and the Wall. Not really taking the prompt literally and going with a short snippet featuring post coital couch talk.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Couch Conversation**

They celebrated their engagement on the couch, downing an entire bottle of champagne between them. There was a reason Heero and Relena never got drunk at the same time. Who would be the voice of reason? The sober counterpart to stop the drunk from doing something stupid? The one to tuck the passed out idiot into bed? The one to nurse the hangover? They were living dangerously, both no longer in full control of their senses with no buffer in place.

When one's definition of living dangerously is being tipsy on the couch, one seriously needs to get out more.

"Why couldn't we go drink at the bar?" muttered Relena, curling up against Heero's bare chest.

They weren't drunk, just pleasantly buzzed, skin warm from the alcohol and...other activities.

"At the bar, we wouldn't have been able to do what we just did," he responded, absentmindedly toying with her hair.

"Says who?"

"They call themselves the police. The crime is called indecent exposure."

"More's the pity. You'd give Trowa a run for his money."

Heero glared at her, wondering what she meant by that. She immediately caught on and read the misconstrued meaning running through his mind.

"I meant in terms of acrobatics," she chortled. "You're _very_ flexible."

He was still glaring.

"We just got engaged," she murmured, cozying up to him some more. "You can't possibly be jealous."

"I think I just might be territorial," he bit out.

"You think?" she laughed. "I have no doubt of that. I follow you around for a few months and you go and tail me for eleven years. Surely, you'd know if I'd ever been with anyone else."

"Hn."

"Heero?"

"What?"

"Just in case you're wondering, there hasn't been anyone else."

"That's good to know."

"And, from now on, there's no chance of there ever being anyone else..."

"Hn."

"Scary prospect, isn't it?"

"Huh?"

"The two of us. Stuck together forever until I can figure out how to file a divorce. Heero, what if it doesn't work out?"

"It will."

"How can you be so sure?"

"We've had eleven years of practice."

"But-"

"And ZERO told me..."

"What?"

"The ZERO system. It gives the people who use it visions. On occassion, it gives glimpses into the future."

"You're a horrid liar."

"Am I? Go ask the other pilots. Quatre was actually able to establish a telepathic link with Dorothy through ZERO. That's how he knew she was the one controlling the mobile dolls. Some traces of that link still remain, actually. Go poke him and see if Dorothy says ouch."

"I'm gullible and too nice for my own good, not stupid."

"I'm telling the truth. ZERO showed me a glimpse into the future."

"Tell me about it then."

"It showed me I was going to marry you."

"And?"

"We're going to have lots of sex."

She elbowed him in the stomach, causing him to give a mildly pained groan. "Thank you for stating the obvious."

"And we're never going to get divorced," he added.

"Nice save," she chortled. "You still didn't answer my question."

"I did. Our marriage is going to last because ZERO pre-ordained it."

"That's not-"

"And I love you."

It wasn't often that Heero told her he loved her without her saying she loved him first. The last time he'd done so was in the early days of their relationship. Even then, he didn't tell her directly. He told her when he thought she was asleep and unable to hear. If she hadn't been such a light sleeper and heard him one time, this may never have come to pass.

But now...

She knew it was difficult for him to put his feelings for her into words. He just wasn't that kind of man. To hear him say "I love you" so casually...

"Y-you... You said it before me for once."

He smirked. "I'm marrying you, aren't I? It's a habit I need to pick up."

"Heero, you-"

He kissed her, making her lose her train of thought.

"...made me forget what I was going to say," she finished once he finally managed to let her breathe.

"I've learned that it's the only way I'll ever get the last word in," he stated. "I have to win some arguments if this marriage is going to survive."

"As long as I win most of them," she yawned.

"Of course."

* * *

Seven ficlets until I end this series. :p


	24. Five Minutes Early

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note: **Using the ninth August prompt "I never really knew how to move you. So I tried to intrude through the little holes in your veins. And I saw you. But that's not an invitation." from "Communication" by The Cardigans. This ficlet alludes to "Overtime" but no need to have read that to understand.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Five Minutes Early**

Relena was in no mood to talk, and Heero was content just to watch her. It was a happy sort of quiet, one they felt no need to fill with words. On occasion, she'd steal a glance at him and he'd look away, pretending he hadn't been staring. She would smile to herself, pretending she was focused on the blobs of text on her computer screen. This was always how they spent the last five minutes before she got off work. He'd stand there, impatiently waiting for her to finish, wondering why she had to work herself to the last second. She'd sit there, wondering why he always arrived five minutes early to pick her up.

Nevertheless, the time to go would come and he'd move to loom over her and her desk. If she remained seated, it was understood that she intended to do some overtime. He would go back to his little corner of the room and fume, refusing to sit. No, he would stay on his feet and glare at her until she relented. She never did, and so he found himself standing for hours on end, losing a game she refused to play. Sometimes, he would break his silence, argue with her. She'd simply ask for a little more time to finish her task. Almost always, he relented. Almost always, she'd give him that tired smile as thanks. Though she'd never admit it, she would have found working after hours beyond torturous if he wasn't there, silently cheering her on despite his disapproval. Even when five minutes stretched into five hours, he stayed.

She wondered why.

As he always did, he came in five minutes early to pick her up that day.

"You can afford to be late," she told him. "I wouldn't mind."

He gave her a strange look, as if she'd just made the most ludicrous demand.

"Why would I want to keep you waiting?"

* * *

Six ficlets until I end this series. :p


	25. Best Case Scenario

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note:** I had an entirely different concept in mind when I started this but it turned into something else. Milliardo hasn't been in NN for awhile and refuses to give Heero any screen time. Anyway, I'm going to use that concept in another ficlet. I apologize to anyone receiving two Story Alerts for this series. I made an uploading boo-boo. :sweatdrop:

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Best Case Scenario**

Relena had chosen to tell Milliardo via long-distance video conference to Mars. It was costly and had a short time limit but she was simply taking a precaution. Even if he was her brother, she wanted to be well out of range if he decided to go into a rage and start throwing things around. Considering what had occurred when they last met, she wondered if he would even speak to her.

Freaking your big brother out by telling him about the kinky things you've done with a boy he hardly approves of is one thing. Telling him you're marrying that same boy...well, it wasn't how she wanted to die.

Taking what she hoped wouldn't be her last breath, she told her brother the news and hoped his reaction wouldn't make her die of fright.

"It's about damned time," shrugged Milliardo's image on the vid screen.

That was it? No flying into a rage? No epileptic convulsion from shock?

"Huh?" gaped Relena, puzzled by her brother's lack of reaction.

"It's not like I can stop you," he sighed. "You're a Peacecraft. Stubborn by blood. Even if I did kill him, you'd find a way to arrange a post-mortem marriage just to spite me. The way I see it, I have no choice."

"Y-you approve?" she stammered.

"I guess. Have you set a date?"

"Not yet."

"Call me when you do. I'll walk you down the aisle. You were going to ask me if I would, right?"

"Smug, much?"

"Do you want me to or not?"

"Of course," she smiled. "You're taking the news pretty well."

"I've had eleven years to prepare for this. Epyon told me you were going to marry the idiot."

"Epyon?"

"The ZERO system. It can see into the future. Didn't Heero tell you? It records your brain waves, memories, emotional responses. From that, it produces images of what's most likely to happen in the next few seconds, minutes, even years. Hallucinations. I had a brief telepathic link with that boy during the final battle."

Relena was dumbfounded. So Heero had been telling the truth. He had seen that he was going to marry her.

"What did you see?" asked Relena.

"It qualified as pornography," replied Milliardo, obviously peeved. "That boy's mind is filthy. I hope you know what you're in for. I hardly enjoyed seeing you at seventy and- Well, at least I know you're going to live a long life."

"Just how accurate is ZERO?"

"Accurate enough. It predicts and lets you dodge beams moving at the speed of light, after all. There is a trade-off though. When you lose control of it, it shows you worst case scenarios. Deaths..."

Millardo paused, taking a deep breath.

"I do respect him," said Milliardo, his voice brimming over with sincerity. "During that brief link, I felt everything. He's seen you die. Seen you die so many times. It was ZERO's favorite way of torturing him. The fact that he's still sane is mind-boggling..."

Relena looked at her brother, amazed at the compassion on his face.

"Time's almost up," snapped Milliardo, eyeing the timer off-screen as it began to beep. "I'll see you soon. Take care of each other, all right?"

_Take care of each other._

This was as close as Milliardo could get to admitting that he cared about his former rival. He trusted Heero to take care of her. The only question remaining was could he trust his sister to stick by her decision and keep Heero whole? As much as he hated to admit it, he had sympathy for the boy.

"I promise," said Relena.

Her smile was the last thing he saw as the screen went black.

Noin walked up to him then, now certain that Relena wouldn't spot her.

"Still couldn't tell her, could you?"

He stroked his wife's pregnant belly through her dress.

"I couldn't go and upstage the bride now, could I?"

* * *

Five ficlets until I end this series. :p


	26. Parental Guidance

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note:** Goodness, I have a fever right now and I still have a shitload of work to do. T_T Anyway, here's a short dialogue-only fast forward into 1xR's married life. This is roughly seventeen years in, I suppose.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Parental Guidance**

"You honestly thought that was an appropriate greeting, Heero?"

"I was simply paraphrasing one of your brother's more quotable statements. I thought it fit the situation."

"Dorothy's going to start another war once she hears about that."

"She needs to teach her son some manners."

"Your daughter needs to dress more appropriately."

"So she's _my_ daughter now? It takes two to procreate, Relena."

"I'll acknowledge her again once the rebellious phase is over. She stopped listening to me once she hit fifteen."

"At least, she's not following your example."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"At her age, we were hardly chaste."

"We weren't the poster children for promiscuity either."

"Your brother begged to differ."

"Milliardo overreacted. You have no business following his example."

"I have every right. Besides, Zechs was somewhat justified. Some of the things we did in bed should be illegal."

"The boy only gave her a peck on the cheek, Heero! I consider that an excellent exercise in restraint considering what she was wearing."

"I still stand by what I said."

"Right. You do that. Meanwhile, I'm off to Quatre and Dorothy's to do some damage control. You did _not_ mean what you told their son."

"I did mean it. If our daughter sees their son's penis, I will cut it off. Slowly."

* * *

Four ficlets to go! :)


	27. Junk Mail

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note:** And now we're moving back from the time-skip to the regular timeline. This is inspired off a VOY fic I read by Gilly H. :p

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Junk Mail**

Relena wondered how spam mail kept ending up in her already over-cluttered inbox. And it wasn't ordinary spam either. It was...suggestive.

Not that it was the sort of suggestion that would appeal to her. No, not at all. It was true that she'd been told that she had a lot of balls for a woman but this was ridiculous. Why in heaven's name did someone feel the need to flood her e-mail with ads implying she needed a penis enlargement?

Heero walked in on his fiancée furiously clicking to purge her inbox of the unwanted messages. It seemed the news he brought wouldn't be new to her.

"There's been a breach in ESUN's firewall," he said, watching how her brows furrowed in frustration as she continued her clicking spree. "I already ran a program to halt the attack so it's unlikely you'll be spammed again."

"Quite a lot got through before you solved the problem though," she spat, still irate as she sifted through messages, trying to distinguish what was important and what was crap. She was half tempted to just delete everything.

He cleared his throat. "I'm aware that the spam is of a vulgar sort. Highly offensive?"

"It depends. Maybe if I was male..."

"Hn?"

"Penis enlargement ads," she sighed. "Honestly, do I look like I have a-"

She cut herself off, a blush coloring her cheeks. Asking her husband-to-be to answer that was- Well, it was strange and...just not right!

"No," he stated plainly. "If you did, I'm quite sure I'd know by now."

He had no idea why she pelted him with mints from the candy dish after that. No clue at all.

* * *

Three ficlets to go! :)


	28. Speech Impediment

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note:** This one's a true drabble at exactly 100 words. Dialogue only. ;)

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Speech Impediment  
**

"We first met online. End of story."

"No one's going to buy that, and you know it. Come on! Gimme some material to work with. What happened to freedom of speech?"

"The president of the Earth Sphere Unified Nations is attending."

"So?"

"You can't make a speech about how you nearly killed the groom when you first met him. Never mind that you pointed a gun at the bride when you first met her."

"It's a cute story! She saved your life. And after all these years, I'm still the bad guy?"

"You elected yourself best man. Deal with it."

* * *

Two ficlets to go! :)


	29. Meaningless Sacrifice

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note:** After this, I'm not sure if I'll write the wedding or the morning after the honeymoon or maybe one final fast forward. Until I decide, chew on this. :)

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Meaningless Sacrifice  
**

Heero collided with Relena, sending her tumbling to the ground as he used his body to shield her. When he gave a pained groan, she immediately knew he'd been shot. Why? Why did he have to take that bullet for her? There was no use in grieving him now. He was done for. No, the best course of action would be to take vengeance. Pushing Heero off herself, she picked up her own gun and shot her would-be assailant.

"You're a traitor, Maxwell!" she screamed, her bullet hitting its mark.

Duo fell to his knees, clutching at his chest where a splash of pink marked him as no longer among the living.

"Cut the dramatics, Duo," scolded Hilde, emerging from her hiding place just as he started flailing on the ground. "Game's over. Bride's team wins."

Duo pouted at her, picking himself up. "We wouldn't have lost if Heero hadn't decided to help the enemy. Yeesh....this is the one time he doesn't have to take a bullet for princess. The one time!"

Relena helped Heero up before they both went over to inspect her kill.

"Don't get smug, princess. We wouldn't have lost if Heero'd fired on you early on like I told him to."

"You're the one who fired on his own team mate," Relena pointed out. "Don't blame him."

"I was firing on you! Not my fault Heero suddenly decided it was a good idea to go and change sides."

"I was protecting her," shrugged Heero.

"Damned women," he growled. "Quatre couldn't take Dorothy down either. At least, Trowa and Wufei were wise enough to follow my example. Don't you know what take no prisoners means?"

"There's no stipulations about prisoners in the rule book. Besides, Sally took down Wufei and Dorothy hit Trowa right after Quatre so your proposed methods were hardly effective. We had the advantage at five versus four but-"

"But you threw it away!"

"You didn't hit anyone either."

"I was about to!"

"I'm the only one allowed to kill Relena."

"Then why didn't you?!"

"I already told you. I had to protect her first."

"Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds?"

Hilde and Relena watched the argument in amusement just as Dorothy and Sally came to join them.

"Still think this is better than gratuitous male nudity, Miss Relena?" sighed Dorothy. "Bachelorette parties are not meant to be spent with your husband-to-be and his obnoxious friends, you know."

"I know," she smiled, looking on while Quatre put himself in harm's way to mediate. Wufei and Trowa stayed on the sidelines, enjoying the show as much as everyone else.

"It's pretty good entertainment," chuckled Sally. "Nudity's fine but this is priceless."

Relena nodded. "Besides, I really don't see Heero being comfortable at a strip club."

"Don't see him being comfortable or don't see yourself being comfortable?" quipped Hilde.

"Perhaps both," she admitted. "Still, I thought this would be fun. I learned marksmanship on hunting trips with my father. Good to know that I haven't gotten rusty."

"The former pacifist princess shooting up a storm the night before her wedding," smirked Dorothy. "This'll be quite the story to tell..."

* * *

One ficlet to go! Yes, one! Thanks to everyone who's been patient enough to read this ficverse. Looking forward to your thoughts once it finally hits completion.


	30. Tardiness

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note:** And yes, I finally figured out how to end it! This is sort of a VOY fic trope but it'll do. ;)

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Tardiness**

Heero was late, and he hated it more than anything. Running as swiftly as only he could, he barely managed to dodge the obstacles, both living and non-living, in his way. He would have gotten here sooner had it not been for Duo's insistence on driving. The journey had been agonizing. Traffic lights seemed inclined to turn red just as they were about to pass, and the mass of cars moved at a snail's pace. That one hour on the road felt longer than forever. Didn't Duo know that traffic laws didn't apply in situations like these? Damn it!

Today was the one day of the year he wasn't on Relena's security detail! The one day! This could have just as easily happened yesterday or tomorrow but no... This had to happen today! If he didn't make it in time, he would never forgive himself. As he approached her reported location, he heard pained screams that unmistakably belonged to her. Was he too late?

Running faster now, her screams only grew louder as he drew closer. Throwing open the doors in his way, he was greeted by the sight of his wife looking completely spent from what must have been an intense round of torture. Apologizing profusely, he fell to his knees beside her. In his haste and overwhelming desire to see her, he noticed nothing but the weak smile on her face. All sound and sensation was forgotten in her favor.

But the other reason for his rush refused to be silent, now wailing loud enough for him to hear...

He turned from Relena then, eyes growing wide in wonder at the noisy pink bundle in Sally's arms.

"One week overdue," sighed Sally, gently placing the newborn baby girl into the perfect soldier's arms. "Then again, it seems that tardiness runs in the family..."

* * *

And it's finally done! :D Looking forward to your thoughts! :p


	31. Paternal Instinct

**Disclaimer:** GW = not mine.

**Author's Note:** Bonus, bitches. xD Cuz that's the way I roll.

**Nonsensical Nuances  
by mistress amethyst une**

**Paternal Instinct**

Heero stumbled to the refrigerator at five in the morning. Covered in spit-up and smelling of soiled diapers, he would not have been opposed to calling himself a broken man. Flinging the fridge door open, he grabbed the milk and poured it into his coffee, downing the brew with no regard for any burns his mouth and throat might sustain. Caffeine was a godsend, and he would need it to survive the day.

Such was the price he paid for knowing Relena had at least been spared the previous night's horrors. His noise cancelling headphones had fit snugly over her ears as she dozed on the couch. After her long day's work, Heero thought she deserved a reprieve. Knowing she wasn't going to give herself one, he had taken what he decided was the best course of action. He could only hope she wouldn't resent his high-handedness later.

Their infant daughter had given them both their share of sleepless nights but Relena's maternal instinct had always trumped Heero's heightened sense of perception. Without fail, she would somehow manage to get out of bed before him, spending the better part of the wee morning hours rocking the child's crying into silence.

Not that he hadn't tried taking over that responsibility.

He'd follow Relena to the nursery, asking to hold the baby so she could go back to sleep. But whenever his daughter went from his wife's arms to his, it always ended with horrific wailing.

It was obvious the kid had a preference and, last night, it couldn't have been made any more clear. How did Relena come out of that nursery smelling like baby powder while he ended up covered in toxic waste?

He didn't hear his wife make her way into the kitchen. She was positively radiant. Despite still wearing the previous day's work clothes, she looked immaculate compared to him.

"Tough night?" she asked, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

He nodded, still focusing all his strength on keeping his eyes open before the coffee kicked in. Shrugging, she took the coffee pot from the counter top, pouring herself a cup. Setting it down, she went to the fridge.

"Guess we're out of milk," she declared.

Heero gave her a befuddled look. "The milk's right here."

"Huh?"

Looking at what he was referring to, her eyes widened and the faint beginnings of a blush began to color her cheeks at the sight of a glass milk bottle next to the coffee pot.

"Heero, our milk comes in cartons. That's- Well, that's- I bought a breast pump last week."

* * *

Don't kill me. Again, I have no idea where this came from.


End file.
